Hurty Gertie

I got such crap growing up for trying to learn the violin by ear. We were supposed to read the music, pay attention, play the classics. Or whatever was in our books, I still can hear “Dancing Sunbeams” in my head (and pick it out on a piano).

But the most fun I had playing violin was with a family friend and some other girls my age. We hung out and learned folk songs by ear, to serenade our friends and families with in the spring. They were similar to the songs we’d sung in music class – though those songs were more north american folk songs rather than south american folk songs. And I loved it all. Makes me want to share the music with my kids; I bought a bunch of piano and song books, intending to finally teach myself how to read music.

And now I’ve found someone who has done something I would have loved all those years ago: a new method of teaching music, using some of the Suzuki method, using some of this guy’s self-taught work, and what simply works. Good on him.

I rented a violin a few years ago, just to see. And I still play like a fifth-grader. But now I can’t even finger the board, and his updated method so makes me want to … Maybe we need Violin Hero – that I can play with a light touch.

I know, I know, how can someone give themselves psoriatic arthritis. But seriously, what if I did this?

If there’s one thing we don’t know about auto-immune diseases (well, there are a number of things we don’t know), it’s how/when/why they get triggered. Travelling overseas? Acquisition of a parasite (or the treatment for the parasite)? Having cats (I seriously read a summary of a study that appears to have studied that)?

While I’ve been tired and fat and whatever for years, the most recent change in my life has been having my gall bladder out and endometrial ablation. I’ve read all kinds of things people blame gall bladder removal on, but I’ve never looked (or found) a connection between ablation and RA/PsA. But in a way it make sense – I’m all scarred up on the inside, more than my doctor and the pharmaceutical representative* had ever seen, eight months post-procedure.

Could having that procedure have triggered it, my other issues (weight, fat, depression, low energy, no job or killer commute + significant parenting/household responsibility) simply another trigger rather than a mask of the problem? It might just be a coincidence that my symptoms started soon (between four and six weeks) after the doctor and pharmacy rep did the Hurty Gertie Uterine Show (seriously, the whole camera thing was COOL, I wonder if they recorded it?).

As for the pharmacy rep, well, I didn’t even know she would be there on the day they did my biopsy and put on the Hurty Gertie Uterine Show. At the time I didn’t object, but I wonder why she was there. Well, my new cynical always obsessing about insurance and costs brain wonders. Maybe I’ll go ask.

I mentioned these lovely rebate cards and discounts that I’ve used now for a while. I used them to pay my shot meds co-pay, for a discount on the kid’s meds, and for my special shampoo. They even gave me some shampoo samples, should I get the urge to travel, hip hip hooray.

But, no receipt means – no cost to me, no adding to the list of things I paid for to see if I write them off for medical expenses – but do I get taxed? How does the new healthcare legislation affect these programs? Or if I can’t pay for a med and sign up for a grant to pay for the meds?

I know it’s still early, and everyone is working the details out, but I wonder if this means the proliferation of “payment assistance” goes up … or down.

TGIASD! (Thank Goodness It’s Almost Shot Day!)

Tiiiired lately. But making myself do and go. Exercise is my friend! So I’ve heard. Been to overwhelmed with life to actually do straight exercise, just more stuff like yardwork and housework and a jillion mazillion errands before my first day of work work begins. Luckily I have a long lead time (and I’m also juggling another interview set just in case but I’m sure I’ll stick with the job I most recently interviewed for). Either way, desk flying here I come!

We’re also working on a new wakeup routine. For two weeks we’re getting up half an hour earlier, and then in two more weeks we’ll move it back another half hour. I’ve been “lazy”, letting the day start later and later since I was the one doing all the work and didn’t have a job to drive to. I could have put mykself back in the routine sooner, but I didn’t. And I hate to admit to being sick. It’s just such a habit to assume lazyness on my part.

That “broken sticks” feeling is back. Both feet, mostly my left hand and wrist as well. Resting helps, and I don’t quite do enough of that. But I’m working on it. More pronounced in my hand than before, why do I get the urge to WRITE when I CAN’T? Ouch ouch ouch. I’ve been experimenting with a few different types of keyboards – a soft touch keyboard, a soft keyboard that you have to hit HARD, and a touch screen keyboard. The touch screen is the hardest, as it is very easy for my crampy tired fingers to brush up against keys I don’t mean to. Combine that with the auto-spell check on the device I was sampling and you get quite an undreadble paragraph or six.

Whatever desk I start flying in a few weeks, I’ll probably invest in an ergonomic keyboard. My writer friend with Rheumatoid Arthritis swears by hers. And if there’s one thing I’m going to be doing flying a desk all day, it’s typing. And answering the phone (note to self, see about a headset).

My eldest is sensitive to things going on around us, from time to time. I know when some thing is abother when it gets quiet. It’s too quiet.

Having a rather convoluted mind myself, I can trace these seemingly random questions back to a true bother. “What if you don’t have enough money for a doctor” = “are our ill family members, like you, dad, and my sibling going to die if we run out of money? I know that sometimes you say that we don’t have money for every toy in the world or for this or that, does that mean you might die because you don’t have money for doctors?”.

Heavy questions for an elementary-aged kid. Who scarily takes after me. I took a lot of the “grown ups” problems around me to heart and hid them inside, causing a lot of internal damage to myself. I don’t want my child to worry and repeat my mistakes. (more…)

Ow ow ow. Srs pain is srs. Too much yard work? Too little sleep? Aleve helped the other day but took Advil next on a more tired next day, no hrlp. And more tired today.

Totally messing up sleep is bad bad bad for my jjoint pain and typing skills. I can touch type, but the keys keep moving further away than they have any right to. Ow ow ow.

Cannot warit for shor day Sunday …

I know I complain a lot about the red tape of reality health insurance and healthcare are wrapped in, but it is a true joy to have some of the burden lifted on days like today. Thank you Ms. Southie.

I used to have kick ass super platinum health care. Not quite UberUnion or FantasticFederalEmployee, but good enough to have reasonable co pays for most things. New insurance has that on preventative care, but then the minimums and a few other goodies kick in. So when I headed down with the kids to a suggested X-Ray center, Ms. Southie called my insurance company and determined my copay would be $200. She came out to the waiting room, explained that if I went to facility U instead of her place, I likely would have a lower copay. I thanked her and asked for a few min to research my options. (more…)

So Dr South’s office called to remind me of an upcoming appointment. Never mind that I never got any prescriptions from them, paid off my bill, and asked them to forward my records to another office. Their computer somehow still had a note that I needed to come in, and there was no two ways about it.

The auto dialer called me to remind me and I did exactly as instructed. Pressed this button to cancel the appointment, briefly record my agreement that it was to be canceled and I would not be back, then pressed another button to send my request to the office for processing.

Called me the next day, (more…)

That was about the extent of my last appointment with Dr Local. That’s about where I’m at, too, feeling better enough to start going to work out daily – either walking or maybe a gym, depending on how my work schedule plays out.

Go, me!

Been a hard week. Lots of sniffles and fevers around, lots of naps for me. Naps help.

I had that “broken twig” feeling again in both feet, but a nap fixed me up pretty well. Pain isn’t gone from the ankle but oh well. I’ll recuperate next week. Right now, the tax man cometh. Yay.