Hurty Gertie

Enough that I’m using pop to keep me functional.

Part of the panic and problem, I figured out, from yesterday, aside from the whole goggles/face/water panic thing – I can’t breathe. I was ignoring the warning signs of not being able to breathe. I powered through the day once I did figure it out, and did the mediation I needed to finally sleep.

Not enough sleep. And then mentally bonked myself this morning when I looked at the box of expired breathing medicine I’d planned to take to the PA today. It only expired a few days ago. It likely wouldn’t have hurt me to take a dose just to get through the night.

But no, now I’ve cascaded into a worse breathing event, and missed my appointment (I know I have to get out of the habit of de-prioritizing my own health!) but: I’m scheduled for tomorrow, and I have a dose only mildly expired for now, and time for a nap.

Sleep is for the weak. Pop is for those who just need a little help …

But – that explains why I didn’t rush to get to the PA last year to get the scrip refilled; I saw the 2010 date and figured “I have time …”.

You can’t plan to be sick (well, maybe) but if you don’t plan to be healthy, you cascade into the disaster I’ve shrugged myself into. And I’m actually a little sad – what triggered this breathing event was an activity I used to enjoy. I still can enjoy it, but I think I’ll need to plan to do a breathing treatment before and after it (I visit a friend with cats) to be on the safe side.

I wonder if this is increased sensitivity, a side-effect of the whole “taking immune-system supressing drugs”, or a combination of both? Must ask Mr. PA.

:-| Hurty Gertie